Burning Books and Witches

I’m in Borders today on my lunch break.  I freaking love that store you can get anything.  You can get a cup of coffee, a sandwich, a cd, a movie, a box of candy and oh yeah a book.  Awesome.

But I’m beginning to second guess my devotion to this store.  First of all I’m looking for Kid Rock’s New Album Rock and Roll Jesus.  Why?  Why in this day of iTunes would I be looking to buy a CD?  Well you may not know that Kid Rock Songs are not on iTunes.  And I f’ng love this song:

All Summer Long – Kid Rock

This is the only version available on iTunes.  Awful!

So I check the Pop/Rock section in the music department and they have every kid rock album execpt this one.  So I go and check the self service computer directory because maybe they have another display somewhere else.  When I typed in the name of the album the computer said it was “probably” in the store.

Probably?  Either it is or it isn’t.  There is no probably about it.  How is Probably even a status in this system?  Can you imagine probably giving them the right amount of money?  Or probably getting your paycheck if you were an employee?  Probably . . .I didn’t care if it was out of stock, but Probably!!!  I know I could Probably find it someplace else.

As my friend likes to say “we got some computers laying around here maybe we could use them”.

But none the less I begin searching the store.  As I am wondering the store checking every shelf and display I come across something that stopped me in my tracks.  Over near the religion section. I see a whole section labeled:  Magical Studies

Ok let me see if I get this right.  I cannot find what is the number two selling album in the country but I can find a whole section devoted to Magical Studies?   At this point I’m thnking “you’ve got to be kidding me”.  This is a special Harry Potter set up right?  Wrong!  This is the study of Magic tricks right?  Wrong! 

This is full of books for Witches and they even have different sub sections of these books (General Metaphysics, etc.).  People are already out of touch with reality enough and now we are going to help feed their delusions!  These are books for the study of something that doesn’t exist!

Now I don’t blame the store (exactly).  They are a business, if it wasn’t selling then they wouldn’t carry it.  But that means SOMEONE IS BUYING ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP FOR A STORE TO STOCK THEIR SHELVES WITH IT, which is an even scarier thought.  Who are these people and where can we lock them up.  Not for witchcraft per se, but just because they are stupid!

I came in looking for Rock and Roll Jesus and came out thinking I must be surrounded by witches and just not know it.  That’s right I had a old -time revival at Borders.

4 Responses to “Burning Books and Witches”


  1. 1 OhSnap! August 30, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    “People are already out of touch with reality enough and now we are going to help feed their delusions! These are books for the study of something that doesn’t exist!”

    Didn’t you just describe the religion section in book stores?
    Oh snap!

  2. 2 Stuart August 31, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    true-that OhSnap … long live the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

  3. 3 haleygirl September 4, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    So you love Borders, so do I. But I noticed that the exact reason you love the store “you can get anything” is exactly why your trashing it so. . .who is the hypocrite now, thanks for stopping by my blog hope to see you again soon. . .

    HG

  4. 4 Donny K September 7, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Haleygal next time I recommend you read the entire blog. Here is exactly what I said . . . .

    “Now I don’t blame the store (exactly). They are a business, if it wasn’t selling then they wouldn’t carry it. ”

    So I wasn’t trashing Borders. Still love’em


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