Archive for the 'Sports' Category

It’s not whether you win or lose – it’s how MONEY your tailgate is…

Let’s face it, prices inside every sporting event stadium have gotten outrageous. It now costs a small fortune to feed a family of one, two, or four at your favorite sporting event … that’s why us frugal American’s invented TAILGATING!!!

In order to tailgate effectively you need to ensure that you arrive at the location a few hours before the actual event takes place, you need a grill, food, and a tasty beverage to two. Nothing will crown you the “worst tailgate of the parking lot” than breaking out your Subway sub and eating it on your car’s trunk (sorry Jared).

When planning tailgate events, plan your menu around the team your favorite team is playing – this makes it fun to plan, and ensures you aren’t eating burgers/dogs every weekend. You should definitely bring a grill (I like the Grill2Go), and make sure you have plenty of food to go around (you can always pack left overs in the cooler for lunch the next day).

Here is my menu for the Redskins vs Saints game this past Sunday – it was a record 90+ degree day at FedExField but the combination of a great tailgate and a Redskins victory made it a perfect day. Please feel free to share your favorite tailgate recipies, or recipies specific to your city/team:

APPETIZER
Spicy red beans and rice cheese dip

MAIN COURSE(S)
Veggie Jambalaya
PO’Boy sandwiches (shrimp/roast beef and veggie)

NFL Billion Dollar Club

In looking at the report that just came out stating that NFL team values now average over a billion dollars each – we could not help but think about what those NFL teams have been getting for that money over the years. And what else they could be spending it on. Now don’t get us wrong – no one loves the NFL more then us – but we just thought we should take a look. We’ll start with the AFC this week.

EAST

Buffalo Bills: They had Bruuuuuce and Kelly but also a field that’s frozen half the year and the never ending memory of “wide right”. They could buy over 1.4 billion hot wings from the Anchor in Buffalo. That’s a lot of heartburn – but 4 consecutive losses in the Super Bowl has to hurt more.

New England Patriots: Okay so they seem to have gotten their moneys worth recently – I mean we’ve been the beneficiary of countless gratuitous Gisele shots in luxury booths – but this franchise had a rough time before that. Does anyone remember Grogan and the 1985 super bowl? And to make matters worse – they are collectively feeling the pain of losing golden boy Tom Brady for the season – and more importantly the accompanying Gisele sightings. They could buy over 22 million bra’s from Victoria’s Secret – who cares if she doesn’t work there anymore. We can’t seem to find any argument against this.

Miami Dolphins: 1972 was a heckuva long time ago. Since then Miami has had a few good things – Marino and their cheerleading squad – but they’ve had to survive hurricanes, Ray Lucas, Jimmy Johnson’s hair, and other nature disasters. The could buy nearly 91 million mojitos in South Beach and watch the scenery.
New York Jets: Its been 31 years between Namath and Favre. Ouch. You’ve got to wonder if some fans didn’t want to hire some north Jersey Soprano assistance to help the team management ‘refocus’. They could buy 50 million lap dances at the Bada Bing and who’s gonna worry then?

NORTH

Baltimore Ravens: Ray Lewis and some defense that’s been fun to watch for this younger franchise led to one great victory. But down by the ha’bar in Bal-more they’ve had to suffer through a string of poor QB’s and now get to watch and see if Flacco joins the long line. They could buy over 30 million pounds of crab legs and hang out down at the Hooters by the bay.
Cleveland Browns: The Browns 2.0 have been pretty woeful since their rebirth. We can’t think even Drew Carey believes they’ve gotten their moneys worth. The dog pound is more entertaining then the play they’ve gotten on the field. They could buy 100 million copies of Major League and laugh about another Cleveland franchise and forget their pain.
Cincinnati Bengals: Boomer Esiason to Carson Palmer – and oh yeah a ton of bail bonds lately. Ocho Cinco is undeniably entertaining but I’m not sure its been worth a billion dollars. They could buy over 52 million tickets to go to The Frog Bog instead – now that’s entertainment!
Pittsburgh Steelers: Big Ben, Jerome, and Hines have made for some recent fun – but the stretch after the Steel Curtain glory days was not a pleasant trip. Bubby Brister people – Bubby Brister. They could buy around 40 million cases of Iron City Beer and pretend every year is 1978.

SOUTH

Houston Texans: This young franchise has been down right painful to watch these last few years. So we’ll just look at their cheerleaders and hope for the best in the future. They could buy a billion copies of local band ZZ Top’s Sharp Dressed Man to help with their inferiority complex.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Another young franchise that has struggled to find itself since it joined the league in 1995. Brunell seemed old in his first game with the Jags – and can you believe he’s still in the league! They had to change their first logo to keep Ford happy – maybe they should make them really happy. They could buy 9000 new 2009 Jaguar XKR-S and have some real fun.
Indianapolis Colts: Peyton and Marvin and Tony oh my! Its been the fun zone under the dome for a few years – but there were some ugly times in the years between the last good Colts team and now. Secret night escapes and the 1986 season, starting 0–13, come to mind. They could buy around 500,000 premium tickets to the Indy 500 and watch Danica Patrick and Ashley Judd instead.
Tennessee Titans: One yard can be a long way in football. Even Jeff’s mighty ‘stach has been unable to get the Titans to the promised land since their change from the good ol’ Oilers. They could buy 70 million Saved by the Bell DVD’s and watch Nashville native Lark Voorhies instead.

WEST

Denver Broncos: First off – its not Mile High Stadium anymore. So stop calling it that. Second, Terrell and Elway are retired. And finally its freakin’ cold there. They could buy 50 million copies of the Broncos cheerleaders calendar and mark the days until the sun comes back out.
Oakland Raiders: Ah for the days of Plunkett. The fans are still scary but the team lately has been even scarier. They could buy 25 million copies of Oakland native MC Hammers U Can’t Touch This and dance the pain away.
Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs have not won a Super Bowl since 1970. They have given us Okoye in Tecmo Bowl – but we’re not sure that makes up for over 37 years of pain for their fans. They could buy over 10 million really nice Kansas City steaks and have a nice barbeque we suppose.
San Diego Chargers: Yes they have LT – but they also have Norval. And they just lost Steroid Man for the season too. Hard to argue with their cheer squad tho. Or their beaches. Or their cheer squad on the beach. They could buy 100 million bottles of coconut oil for the cheer squad on the beach. We’ll leave you with that mental image.

Another View of ACC College Football

The ACC has come out of the gate rough in this young college football season. But are they all just awful with no hope of redemption? Well to help make looking at these teams a little easier – 8 Donkeys is assigning their celebrity equivalent to help you understand the ACC’s prospects for the future.

Boston College

Having some issues since the breakup and maybe hotter in years past – but still undeniably solid.

Clemson

High expectations can make any slip up seem worse but your can’t argue the talent here.

Duke

Someone may have been seen with them back in the ‘80’s – but there is nothing pretty there now.

Florida State

It’s been a rough couple years – but once strong. A come back is a long shot – but not impossible.

Georgia Tech

Nice enough. Not thrilling – but nice.

Maryland

Never been the hottest yet flirted a little over the years – but could never really make the leap to the next level.

Miami

Once great – can’t really tell which way they will go yet.

N.C. State

Finally got rid of that jerk – and always has talent – but not quite  big time yet.

North Carolina

Not much to look at – but seems nice and has lots of fans.

Virginia

People keep telling us how good they are – but we’ve never seen it.

Virginia Tech

One of the best year after year – will bounce back from brief down turn.

Wake Forest

Very hot last year – but just does not seem to have the star power in the long run.

Bo Jackson or Christian Okoye

For those who grew up with the first generation Nintendo game system you have to remember how dominante Bo Jackson was in Tecmo Bowl.  So 8 Donkeys wants to know, who do you think is better Bo Jackson or Christian “the Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye? 

To assist in your decision process here are two videos showing each player in action on Tecmo Bowl

Bo Jackson:

 

…..or….

 Christian Okoye:

Rookies, NFL and Man Law

The 2008 NFL Regular Season is upon us.  It’s been an interesting offseason in the NFL.  Brett Favre retires, then says just kidding I still want to play.  Is this finally going to be Brett Favre’s last season?  There’s an exciting new crop of NFL rookies led by Darren McFadden and Jonathan Stewart, vying for rookie of the year.  The NFL reinstated the oft-troubled Adam “I’m no longer Pacman” Jones.  The Redskins shock everybody in picking Jim Zorn to replace Joe Gibbs, then suprisingly do little in pursuing offseason acquisitions (Jason Taylor doesn’t count, he was an emergency pickup).  Not to mention the NFL installed a few new rules and removed a few:

  • 3 & out – no more 5 yard incidental facemask
  • 3 & out – no more force-out rule (two feet down inbounds or it’s not a catch)
  • 1st & goal – teams can now defer the coin toss decision to the 2nd half
  • 1st & goal – the defense will now be allowed to have a microphone helmet
  • 1st & goal – for those times when the two officials on the filed who’s sole responsiblilty is ensuring a field goal is good can’t agree…. INSTANT REPLAY on kicks!

However, what hasn’t changed is Man Law.  Man Law is constantly evolving, with new ones added as necessary.  8 Donkeys felt it necessary to provide a refresher on Man Law and has taken the time to assemble the laws you should familiarize yourself with for the 2008 NFL season.   This is by no means an exhaustive list, rather one that should cover most situations men could find themselves in this upcoming NFL season.

Man Law #8: No one should ever steal a man’s alcohol from that man’s cooler…this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death —  if you are invited over to another mans home to watch football, bring beer unless the host advises you he has enough beer.  If the host does not advise you and you don’t ask, assume you need to bring beer (better safe than sorry).  Nobody will ever complain and say “Wow, we have too much beer!”  If you don’t arrive with beer prepare to be ridiculed and told to watch the game from the bathroom.  If you are offered beer by the host of the football gathering, please see Man Law #49 below for further guidance.

Man Law #12: If another man’s fly is down, you didn’t see anything and may not make a comment about it — Commenting of any kind whether direct or indirect on the status of another man’s fly is completely unacceptable. No further comments needed.

Man Law #17: When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom — in order to reinforce this one, 8 Donkeys has included an instructional and informative video provided by the Men of the Square table.

Man Law #18: You poke it you own it — This one is particular to bar gatherings.  8 Donkeys again turn to the Men of the Square table for an instructional video…No fingering the beer!

Man Law #31: Every man should watch sports center at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recommended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day — This one is critical when you are the new guy to the group.  Never show up to an event without knowing at least 2 major sports updates or current events.  It would be sad that your first visit could also possibly be your last for a long time.


Man Law #39: No more crushing of empty beer cans on your forehead. Modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past — 8 Donkeys again will defer to the Men of the Square Table, Are you going to argue with Triple H?

Man Law #49: No man shall ever turn down free beer because “it’s not their brand.” — Turning down free beer is like turning down sex from your wife or girlfriend because you are tired and have a headache – STUPID

Man Law #53: If you spill a man’s beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup — The beer spilled must be replaced with a beer of similar quality or better.  Failure to do so could result in a severe fine or banishment from future football gatherings for a period to be determined by the rest of the men in the group.  This also covers the wasting of beer in the name of humor, as outlined again by the Men of the Square Table.  One may be immediately forgiven if you agree to eat a cracker spread with Potted Meat product.

Man Law #57: A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer — This one is tough and one that you need to proceed with caution on.  Be careful when abiding by this man law that it doesn’t obligate you into inviting that person over to your place to watch football.  Be on the lookout for a “mooch”.  A mooch is one who will on a rare occasion offer up a free beer right before the start of football on Sunday.  The Mooch is hoping to get the invite into the man cave to watch your new 65 inch HD 1080p plasma television with the NFL Sunday TicketUpon entering he will then proceed to consume all your beer, chips and other game-day prepared food.all this for just a single beer.

Man Law #60: No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. It’s understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. — This man law is meant for football / poker buddies.  If you receive a beer through a transaction covered in Man Law #57 involving a Mooch, you may break this man law.

Man Law #63: Body paint is only acceptable on a man if it’s on game day and to support his team — 8 Donkeys needs to again provide a little clarity here.  If you are heading over to a buddies house to watch football or to a bar, this rule does not apply – YOU JUST LOOK STUPID.  However, if you are in the stadium watching your favorite NFL team, then paint away.

Man Law #64: No man shall bring a woman to guy’s night out. This is punishable by verbal abuse for life — A law usually broken by those newly married or in a new relationship.  This is among the most severe of all man law’s to break.  The only time this law can be broken would be if the said man brings any of the following to guys night out: Michelle Monaghan, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, or Giselle Bundchen.  The ladies on Buddy Lee’s Top 10 Actresses in their 30’s list would also be allowed at guys night!

Man Law #72: Keeping beer from other’s by hiding it in the fridge is not permissible. Besides, sharing is caring — 8 Donkey’s sees another opportunity to allow the Men of the Square table to lead the way…Sharing is caring fellas!

Man Law #73: Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only — You are responsible for enforcing this rule.  Do not let another man go into your fridge and discover your girlfriend or wife has stored their Smirnoff  Watermellon Ice beverages in the fridge.  Devoute followers of this law, when visiting other followers of Man Law #73 expect there to be beer and only beer in the fridge.  Men will likely never look when grabbing what they expect to be beer from the fridge.   Should they grab a wine cooler they could go into shock upon taking a drink, resulting a trip to the emergency room and ruining football Sunday.

Man Law #79: It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, it is perfectly acceptable to watch — and watch we will.  J-E-T-S, Jets Jets Jets…watch and you will soon see why Brett Favre returned for another season and certainly won’t mind his new home in New York.

Man Law #99: Bitching about the brand of free beer in your buddy’s refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable — This would be the only acceptable time you can complain when given free beer.  If you are providing the beer it needs to be cold…period!

Man Law #102: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean — Again use judgement here.  If that woman happens to be one of the following: the ladies referenced in Man Law #64, Amanda Beard, Maria Kirilenko, Haley Cope or Alisson Stokke then the rule may be relaxed.

Man Law #105: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask whose playing. You should know such things — If you have to ask whose playing you either #1: sit down with a plate of food and a beer, continually stuffing your face until you can catch-up.  While stuffing your face with food, you will not be able to talk and likely won’t be asked anything other than food related questions easily answered with some form of a head nod,  #2: keep walking not saying a word or #3: quietly get up and LEAVE.  If you have to take option #3 and brought beer, the punishment in-lieu of ridicule is to leave the beer.

8 Donkeys certainly hopes you find this information useful.  Knowing the above man laws could help avert disaster during the upcoming NFL season.  Good Luck and may your NFL team do well this upcoming season unless they happen to be the New England Patriots.  And if for some reason Bill Belichick happens upon this blog: GET A NEW SWEATSHIRT!

New Talent: Rookie of the Year Race

The upcoming NFL season has a good crop of young talent going for the NFL Rookie of the Year. Last year we all saw Adrian Peterson run away with it – and this year it may be another running back. There is a solid class of rookies that could compete for the title. The odds-makers are dubbing Darren McFadden as the front runner.

In the theater, there is also a new crop of talent making their way to the screens. There are a number of great – and awful – looking movies coming out this fall. We’ve done the leg work for you and found the truly important information on these new films – the actresses with true ‘talent’ that you might not have seen before.

We could have looked at these two topics separately – but that’s just not the 8 Donkeys way. So here is a look at the top NFL Rookies with a shot at the NFL ROTY and the new talent in the fall movie lineup.

Match Up #1:

Darren McFadden (OAK): The favorite according to the odds makers. If Oakland gets him the ball enough he could be the man – but don’t expect Justin Fargas to disappear. Competing with a true #1 back in Fargas could seriously limit his touches – especially early in the season.

Gillian Jacobs (“Choke”): A strong contender with a part in the new Sam Rockwell movie “Choke“. If you have not checked out the trailer for this one – it’s based on a novel by the same guy that wrote “Fight Club” – give it a look.

Match Up #2:

Felix Jones (DAL): The Cowboys passed on Mendenhall for Jones – to pair him with their bruiser Marion Barber. He’s looked good in pre-season so far – and his break away speed could give him some high-light reel material for his ROTY campaign.

Jennifer Sipes (“W.“): The movie looks like another awful Oliver Stone fantasy world interpretation of reality – but we’re willing to forget that to scout this new actress.

Match Up #3:

Glenn Dorsey (KC): A D-tackle is going to have to dominate games and rack up sacks to win this award – and on that awful Kansas City team I just can’t see that happening.

Gemma Arterton (“Quantum of Solace“): Bond flicks always bring the talent – and the new Quantum of Solace is no different.

Match Up #4:

Chris Long (STL): Long faces the same test as the other rookie D-lineman in garnering the big plays he will need to be considered. But more then that I’m still not sold his speed will translate to the pro-game in the dominating fashion the Rams are hoping for. He will be a distant never-really-in-it for the ROTY in ’08.

Michelle Monaghan (“Eagle Eye“): Another in the seemingly never-ending parade of Shia LaBeouf movies – damned if I know if Eagle Eye will be any good – but I’m willing to go out on a limb a say Michelle has serious talent. Ok so its not like its a small limb.

Match Up #5:

Jonathan Stewart (CAR) : DeAngelo Williams, Jonathan Stewart, Nick Goings, and LaBrandon Toefield – who are you gonna bet on emerging from that backfield? I give this guy a serious shot. And for once – Carolina is flying kind of under the radar – they could be better then expected and help his chances.

Haley Bennett (“Marley & Me“): This may be Aniston‘s movie – but this talented young player will be seriously challenging for playing time in our book with the Hall of Fame veteran.

Match Up #6:

Matt Ryan (ATL): A new quarterback era begins in Hotlanta. Ryan certainly looks like he has the goods. But the only two rookie QB’s to take ROTY Roethlisberger and Young – were special situations – one on an already great team and the other a running stud. I can’t see Atlanta being good enough to help him in his ROTY campaign.

Teresa Palmer (“Bedtime Stories“): Sandler in a family comedy? No thanks. But we will spend a draft pick on Teresa. A high draft pick. Who are we kidding…we’ll pull a Ditka and give you all of ’em.

Match Up #7:

Kevin Smith (DET): This is our long shot pick. Smith is very very good. His speed on that Detroit turf will be something to watch. If the Lions can find any kind of passing game to stretch the field – this guy could go nuts.

Ashley Green (“Twilight“): The movie looks, uh lets be kind, okay. But the talent this player brings to it could make it worth sitting through.

Top 10 Baseball Movies Worth an Instant Replay

Major League Baseball announced that they will begin using instant replay in games starting Thursday. In honor of this historic shift in the way baseball will be called – we are taking a look at the Top 10 Baseball Movies of All Time – all worthy of another look.

So here they are – the Top 10 Baseball Movies of All Time:

1. Bad News Bears: Argue if you want – but I’ll just send Tanner over to whip your ass.

2. Bull Durham: “You just got lesson number one: don’t think; it can only hurt the ball club.”

3. Field of Dreams: “I’m going to beat you with a crowbar until you leave.”

4. The Sandlot: “You’re killing me Smalls!”

5. The Natural: Come on – we all know the home run scene.

6. Major League: “Is very bad to steal Jobu’s rum. Is very bad. ”

7. Eight Men Out: Just an all around good baseball flick.

8. Pride of the Yankees: Simply a classic.

9. Little Big League: “Takes me 3 hours to paint a house – takes you 5. How long to do it together?” “What color paint?”

10. 61*: A really good movie – just skip the last few minutes when Mark McGwire intrudes.

Honorable Mentions:

Summer Catch: For obvious reasons.

Rookie of the Year: “I think those tendons have healed – a little, a little tight.”

For Love of the Game: We just couldn’t have Costner in the Top 10 three times.

The Rookie: Best use of a roadside radar sign in a movie award.